


Whatever It Takes

by sisterxmorphine



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Endgame, One Shot, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 06:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisterxmorphine/pseuds/sisterxmorphine
Summary: Natasha must come face to face with her heroism and possibly one of the most painful decisions to make.





	Whatever It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: if you have not seen Avengers: Endgame, do not read this unless you want to be spoiled!

Every moment of her life had led to this. Every second was carefully calculated. Every second was carried out to meet this exact conclusion. 

Sacrifice.

Years ago, Natasha wouldn’t have thought it would have ended like this. But now, it’s what needed to happen. For the sake of those who she had come to love, for the world, for the entire galaxy. She never thought the end of her life would mean a change for the rest of lives in the world. It shouldn’t have to be like this. But in this moment, she knew that it had to.

The moments spent on Vormir were so crucial. She knew Clint would try to do what had to be done, but she couldn’t let him. He had a family, he was never alone. She was, even if she was surrounded by the family she found she still found an ache from something that could never be quelled. When everyone went off together, there was something within her that pulled her away to her own torment and toil. Sometimes she even believed that no one really loved her like she loved them. Was she even supposed to feel love at all?

What was she, but just a killer? A manipulator? The others had their redeeming and heroic qualities, and she had such trouble seeing her own. At the end of the day, she was still the spy that the Red Room created. The cold and calculating Black Widow. Today that would be changed. She would ascend to martyrdom, all those years of pain that she caused and she felt would finally come to an end. It had to.

Maybe she would be remembered, maybe she wouldn’t. None of that mattered. But the pangs in her chest and the throbbing in her head as she fought off tears like she had so many times before begged to differ. She wasn’t a symbol, she wasn’t a role model. Natasha was not what her teammates were. No one would miss her the way they’d miss Thor or Steve or Tony. She was tactless, obscure, intimidating. She didn’t possess a mystical weapon or millions of dollars, she was just an uncaged beast that only ever had one purpose. 

She knew the team could never look beyond what she really was, Clint especially. No level of kinsmanship would. Natasha was drowning in the blood of those she had done away with, it wasn’t impossible to see. This was her chance wash that all away. She needed this. She would finally be free. Free of guilt and free of pain that she hid expertly.

She was ready, but so was Clint. It was a struggle with him. He wasn’t going to let her go, and she wasn’t going to let him go. He had been her best friend ever since the day he decided to spare her. Maybe the only real friend she ever had. She wasn’t going to let him do this. 

She succeeded. Natasha watched as his figure grew farther and farther as she plummeted to the earth below.

———

En pointe. Loss of balance. A fall.

A memory, but not a real one, but still it burned before her eyes.

Click! Bang!

The truth. The bloody truth. The real memory.

She watched a body crumple to the floor, blood pooling around them. Applause rose. She was the best.

Blood and poison. Black and sanguine. A string of kills that never ended.

She killed mercilessly. 

An outstretched hand. Mercy.

Why did he treat her as a human, and not what she really was? A monster.

A second chance. A path to redemption.

Clint changed her life. He practically saved her from herself and the downward spiral she would have taken.

Doing the right thing.

It felt so strange, to know that she had a sense of heroism in her.

Family.

She thought she would always be alone. She was wrong. She loved them. She died for them.

Natasha didn’t remember feeling any pain, the moment she fell to the stone floor below she was already gone. Her life already flashed before her green eyes that lacked any sort of light and happiness. She cried, she felt tears escape as she fell. She didn’t know if they were of sorrow or relief. That didn’t matter.

“Romanoff…?”

In the darkness she heard an all too familiar voice. Slowly everything took shape around her, but there was light that was too blinding and she couldn’t see much. She tried to move from her place on the floor but she lacked strength.

“Take it easy, you’ve been down for a while…”

Did she survive? How the hell was this going on? She was supposed to save everyone, did she fail to do that?

She finally adjusted to the light and she saw who knelt beside her.

“Tony…”

She felt a tightness in her chest and throat.

“What happened, did we win? Is everyone okay?” She asked quietly, reaching out to him.

“I think so. He’s gone… We did what we had to do…” Tony spoke solemnly, an emptiness in his eyes.

Natasha looked around, Tony finding silence as he knelt. They were alone, everything around them was unfamiliar. She didn’t really know what was around her.

So this was death.

“Tony,” Natasha began as tears welled in her eyes, “we saved them. Everyone.”

“We did,” Tony said as he looked down at himself, as if he expected to see his battle scars. But there was nothing.

They stayed in silence for a moment, accepting that they were both dead. This was real, whatever came beyond life. The reality of it struck them hard, but there was no pain. None at all.

“Did you think when we first met that we’d end up like this?” Tony looked at Natasha with a grin, but it lacked his usual snark and charm.

“What? Saving the world, not only once but multiple times?” Natasha quirked a brow. “Not at all. I didn’t think any of this would happen.”

Natasha took a deep breath, teeth biting into her bottom lip as she found the right words to say.

“I hope that whatever happened… after… that they aren’t lost. We were the Avengers…”

“And died as Avengers, Romanoff.”

“Do you think they’ll remember us?”

“Always. As long as the Avengers go on, so will we. Well not physically, but you know what I mean,” the Tony she knew was coming back. “How could they forget the best looking Avenger and one of the smartest?”

“Hey!”

“What, you don’t want to be told that you’re intelligent? How many times did that brain of yours save all of our asses?”

“Enough.” She replied with a laugh.

“Natasha, of course I’m the best looking. Somebody had to be the face of the Avengers.”

“Glad to see you’re still you, Tony.” Natasha smiled. Spending her time with one of the people that she considered a dear old friend? Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

“You think we’re in Heaven, or something?” Natasha looked around. They were alone in some room. It felt sterile, but there was an antique feeling to it. All around, it was an odd place to be. Not what she thought the afterlife would be.

“Wherever it is, I hope they have cheeseburgers. I didn’t know having all the stones would make me hungry.” Tony said as Natasha rolled her eyes.

“If this is Hell then the cheeseburgers probably eat you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, yet somehow it makes perfect sense. Also, terrifying imagery.”

“Well you’re stuck with it now, Stark. Deal with it.”

The shared a laugh, then an empty silence struck again.

“I hope she knows I loved her,” Tony said, he didn’t fight the tears.

“Pepper?”

“Morgan.”

Natasha frowned. She didn’t fight her tears either. Her arms embraced Tony, patting his back gently.

“She knows. And she’s never going to forget that. I don’t think Pepper and Happy and everyone else will ever let her forget how much her dad loved her. That he would give her the world. She knows, Tony. And she loves you too. She always will.”

Tony sobbed into her shoulder. Natasha rarely saw him like this, but it didn’t matter. He was always so strong, he was allowed to cry every now and then. 

Natasha wondered if anyone would still love her after she was gone. If Clint would still call her his best friend. If anyone would even miss her. She cried tears for her own pain, trying to not let Tony realize how much she cried.

She didn’t know if whoever was left would even care to remember her. She wasn’t Tony. She didn’t have what he had, her legacy wasn’t as great as his.

She didn’t realize that he pulled away as she sat and cried in silence. He watched her carefully.

“No one’s gonna kick ass like you, Natasha. Not a single one of them. No matter what powers they have. You saved the world on sheer willpower and the drive to do what’s right. I couldn’t even do that all the time. They wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. Yeah, maybe I was the one who finished it, but without you that wouldn’t have happened. None of this. You held us together for so long. We’d have torn each other apart without you.”

“You were my family, all I ever had,” Natasha said after a while of silence between them. “I never had anything like it, I didn’t what I’d do if we all fell apart. I just wanted to do what held us together.”

“You did. And I’m grateful.”

They spilled their feelings longer, it must have been hours. Natasha opened up, telling everything that she had. There was no reason to hide it away, so everything was out for him to hear in stories he never heard. She was so much more than the assassin and agent she painted herself. She didn’t always see it, but the proof was there.

She opened up emotionally, promoting Tony to yell “bullshit” as she spoke of her doubts in herself.

“We couldn’t have built the team without you, Natasha. Every single one of us was important. Especially you.”

“Especially me?”

Tony nodded. Natasha smiled. There was no acting. She had her one of her best friends to remind her how much she had done in the name of the greater good. He wasn’t going to let her forget.

“Now that the little therapy session is over, no offense, let’s find out what’s on the other side of that door. Okay?” Tony said as he gestured to the door of the room that they sat in.

“Deal. But if it’s Hell I don’t think I can kick enough ass down here to save us.”

“I don’t know about that, you’re quite the hellion.”

“You I don’t think you can charm your way out of Hell.”

“I’ll try.”

They stood up together, pausing to look each other in the eyes as they prepared to find what awaited them. 

“Let’s go.” Natasha said as she stepped forward, reaching to open the door.

“Finally,” Tony sighed. So did Natasha, then she opened the door, greeting what fate stood on the other side.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to give Natasha more of what she deserved. She was nearly disregarded and she deserved better. She was a human with flaws but she was a hero too. She deserved to know she mattered.


End file.
